When we’re not charging up our giant Gay Ray to incinerate traditional marriage, happiness, and kittens, Alan and I are plotting to destroy the fabric of society.

A short transcript of one of these sessions, presented without comment:

Kate: society’s fabric is SO last season

Alan: more like last century

I had to cut the conversation short because I had an appointment to ruin the newlywed happiness of a heterosexual couple at noon.

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